Back before a guy with the absolutely CHARMING name of Thomas Crapper invented the flusing toilet, mankind was forced to find other means of getting rid of...well...stinky stuff...
And this Halloween poem pays homage to such things...
The night was dark,
The sky was blue.
Around the corner,
The shit wagon flew.
It hit a curb,
A bang was heard,
A man was killed,
By a flying turd.
I stood there broken hearted,
Tried to shit, but only farted.
OKAY...my reputation of being a lady of decorum JUST floated out the window along with...well...the stinker...
My best friend throughout grade, middle, and high school and I sat in the back of the late bus one afternoon...bored to tears...challenging each other to be as bizarre as we could...Together we created this and became very popular very quickly with our classmates...Not so much with the adults back then...especially the lunch ladies since we compared the stuff on our lunch trays to what was flying on that wagon.
I have learned our poem really HAS made the rounds. Someone even plagiarized it...badly and without the important last two lines. (Yes, I reported it and it has been removed from the poetry site it was on.)
So to all...my angel's halo isn't really all that pristine you know!
My name is
Lilith. 30 years. The aching aloneness wears heavily upon me. 30 years of being guarded, controlled, and manipulated by a
water demon who loathes my very existence, and all because I did not see
the web before I crossed into that bathroom...It seems so long ago.
I'm a child in their eyes...the only two aware of my existence now, and I hate it! There must be more, and tonight I mean to finally break free of them and find out.
My name is Benjamin. I have been around for thousands of years, and my accumulated wisdom and power cannot be questioned. It is my job and the duty of my made generals to secure the safety of the few female vampires left. I am smart, I am cunning, and I am thorough. I know where each and every living female vampire is, because they are all cossetted here, under the banner of my determined protection.
My name is Montague...Look at me...Do I look evil to you? Of course not, and yet, I am determined to destroy all Benjamin and his generals hold dear.
HIDDEN,
Book One in Kat Holmes' brand new vampire epoch sweeping the paranormal world. Meet the above entities...all appearing as part of The Hekate's Web Series, since its debut from
...and keep your eyes peeled to the Muse It Up Publishing Bookstore and author Kat Holmes' WEBSITE and BLOG for more information about this introduction to the dangerously passionate and strangely intense world of Hekate's Web.
Lilith...Hekate's surprise child, is going to
rock the vampire world!
P.S. Check out Kat Holmes' MuseItUp AUTHOR'S PAGE and her Amazon.com Author's Page to learn what other great stories she has waiting for you.
Her name is
LILITH and despite the rigid disdain of her all too, Nose-to-the Biblical Grindstone older brother, she's here to help him celebrate his Ren Faire wedding.
Odd place for a Bible directed person to hold his wedding...but that had given her hope...false hope...he might have relaxed his extreme criticism of her non-traditional beliefs.
Regardless, you'd think he'd be in a nice enough place, heart-wise, to leave her be, but NOOOO!...religion is his stick and he loves beating her with it.
Stepping away from the gloating couple...Nature's call being the reason...she heads for the public restrooms, dancing the jig of one who's held it in too long.
Pushing through the door, antsy as all get out, she does not see, there in the upper right corner, a web unlike any web she'd ever seen before. Once across the threshold, though, the web, Hekate's Web, is going to change her EVERYTHING!
HIDDEN...Book ONE in The Hekate's Web Series by Best Selling Author
Kat Holmes released in June 2012 from the
Muse It Up Publishing, Inc. world rocking publishing house.
What does the Web have in store for the poor, unsuspecting Lilith?
You are not going to want to miss this book...trust me.
For
keep checking Muse It Up Publishing's Bookstore, Kat Holmes' WEBSITE and BLOG and feel free to EMAIL Kat Holmes as well.
Stay Tuned here for the first installment while preparing for more of The Hekate's Web Series, but for now Book One...
HIDDEN is HERE!
Back in the
old days you heard little of her, and maybe that's why she's been able to do all she's done.
See...I can't deny it...not any more. I just saw it with my own two eyes.
It's a WEB...one HELLUVA web actually...and not an ordinary web like the ones you'll find in the corners of your rooms.
What makes it different? Perhaps it would be better if I asked, why does a Greek goddess maintain a web? What possible motive could the goddess Hekate have?
And who is her web designed to ensnare?
I'm afraid...very afraid...and you should be too.
HIDDEN, Book One in the Hekate's Web Series by award winning author
Kat Holmes is coming...(can you hear the music...sounds like a dirge doesn't it? Probably IS a dirge.)...coming from
Muse It Up Publishing knows how to do erotica, and this is erotica, dark, paranormal erotic and is cming in less than a heartbeat of time...we're talking June 2012...right around the eerie corner.
Will we be ready for what Hekate and Kat Holmes are going to release?
I don't know about you, but I think RUNNING..AWAY...is the right direction here....maybe...
Except if I run will I ever learn the answer to my question? I WANT, no NEED to find out why Hekate's created one
gigantic web and who, or, <gulp> what does she mean to capture within it?
Stay tuned. I'm on the job, my nose to the proverbial "web-stone", or as close as I dare get to it.
HIDDEN...
KAT HOLMES...BOOK ONE in HEKATE'S WEB SERIES...Coming from
MUSE IT UP PUBLISHING, INC.
JUNE 2012. DON'T MISS IT!
Poseidon controls the water, and he does it well.
Kat Holmes, author most gifted, spent time visiting with the aquatic Lord of all things wet and cresting, and what she learned will make your toes curl and your love of water increase exponentially.
Crimson Waters, book
FOUR of Kat Holmes' Gods At Works series brings us to the second of Zeus' brothers. (Book Three,
IN DEATHS ARMS, currently available at MUSE IT UP PUBLISHING, brought us Hades, his underworld, and the truth about
pomegranates.)
Imagine, if you will, what the God of all things H2O-ey can do while wafting through the
Tunnel of Love? Quite an image huh, but I guarantee the story Poseidon gave to Kat goes way beyond what you're imagining.
If Poseidon doesn't like you, he can lure you to towards the water and release that bone shaking monster the
Kraken...will he release it in Crimson Waters?
The Gods At Work Series brings the
Oympic Gods and Goddesses into modern times. Zeus is poor...nobody is leaving him tithings any more given the economy of today's world, and he does not like living beneath his level of comfort.
Having tons of offspring,
he is a randy devil, he determined to send his children here amongst us "mortals" to toil keeping Daddy in his quota of godly pleasures.
Hades and
Poseidon, being his brothers, can thumb their collective noses at the lazy old sod, but Aphrodite, the focus of book one
WORKING UNDER COVERS and Mr. I can't keep it in my pants Zeus' long suffering former wife, Hera, Queen of all the Olympians, and focus of
HEART OF THE QUEEN, book two, found so much happiness here with us mortals, Hades joined his niece and sister-in-law finding his own Happily Ever After.
Now it is Poseidon's turn, rising from his undersea realm to work and play among us..
Poseidon gave Kat Holmes unfethered access to the
current world he lives in, holding back nothing...including the truth about the disappearance of
Atlantis.
Oh and one other thing...what Poseidon does with water as a toy of
foreplay will leave you wide-eyed and hotter than an undersea volcano.
Crimson Waters is releasing from
Muse It Up Publishing this coming Friday, April 13th...the best way to spend any
Friday the 13th I can think of.
Be the first on your block to know Poseidon's deepest, pulse pounding secrets.
(Each of the Gods At Work Series books can stand alone.)
